Thoughts I have these days

School is tough but I'm giving my best shot to pass all the assignments and modules by April. If you noticed that I haven't been posting is because of school and my laziness to do my assignments properly. Accounting is tough. It has been one of my modules this trimester and it has been really tough to study. I like financial statements and I enjoy doing them but for the theory questions, I don't really understand what are the key points to really get the marks. Business Research is okay for now since it is more of theories and statistics. I really enjoyed making surveys for assignment 1 and I hoped I can get a passing grade or better grades. Organisational Behavior is fun. I really like to learn how one person's attitudes and personalities work on the organisation and how human behavior takes part in the business organisations. Managing Under Uncertainty is a okay subject but I don't enjoy doing the assignments. My marks got decreased because the teacher thought that most of our assignments does not contain certain expectations from teachers. Well, some of the points that the teacher was expecting was good valid points but some, not very logical. But well, since we are students, we couldn't really say much to the person who is marking and deciding whether I get a pass or a fail so, I'll just stop here. 

School is boring. Maybe because I don't really interact with others in a proper manner. We don't really hang out and I feel like I'm being counted as just a girl who help others. Well, I want to be a proper friend with some people and if they don't seem like they want to be friends with me, then I guess there is no other way. These days, my life is just school, attending lectures for a few hours then go back home immediately. 

During my bachelors, we hanged out after school, having dinner or even watch movies from time to time and life was colorful. Now, I'm back home half an hour after class watching movies or start my assignment for the week. Life became boring. 

Why am I doing MBA?
My thoughts of getting MBA changed along the way because it's just a bit too tough for me to go through that emotion and anxiety for the whole year and I don't want that. I want to start working so that I can earn money for travels. I want to travel more. I want to move to another country where I work part time and focus more on what I really like to do and live a simple life. I don't want to pay $1000 just for a room in an apartment where I don't even spend that much time on. 

Mental Health and Work
I guess, in a few days, 5 days to be exact, I'll be 22 soon. I'm excited yet I'm so under stress and anxiety to be actually happy and excited to be a birthday girl. Even though I'm 22, I want to take control of my life more and start earning money to live independently. I don't want to ask for money from my mother just to survive. I guess, it's not that easy to survive properly given the fact that I don't have any experience in any job expertise, I don't have much confidence in having a good career that everyone is expecting from me. 

I want to live a simple life. I'm not asking for a total princess lifestyle who only depends on someone to live but I want to have a simple job with simple lifestyle. I want to learn more on the things that I love while working. I want to get back to coding and creating website. I want to learn more about video editing and creating things that I enjoy.

Blog and YouTube
Because of my poor time management, I put my blogging and YouTube as last priority even though YouTube and blogging is one of the things that I really enjoy doing. I still upload every Monday and Thursday on my YouTube channel without failing because I had filmed a lot of videos and edited them while I had time last month. But for blogging, I wasn't able to upload and I feel really bad. I have a lot of blog ideas that I want to write for this blog and I can't wait for the day to come where I have a bit of spare time to spend on my blog.

My boyfriend was busy with his career and I'm happy for him. Sometimes, I think I get a bit lonely I guess. But, I have other things that I like to do without him so, I don't really act selfish in front of him. I want him to rest during the weekends so I don't really go out with him. 

Since we don't really live other so either going out or going to his house and spend time were the only ways to spend time with him. But I don't want to disturb his family just to see him so I'll be a good girl who don't act like a child and act selfish just to spend time with him. 

Since I'll be 22 and our relationship has been going towards 4 years, I've been hearing some marriage conversations from my teachers and friends and other people. People told us to get married soon, buy a HDB flat and have kids but I feel that both of us are not yet ready to start a life together very soon. I mean, some people don't spend 4 years being girlfriend, boyfriend to get married so within some standards, being in a relationship of 4 years is very long and needs to get married asap. Well, that is some people's beliefs but I beg to differ. 

Yes, I can understand being in a steady 4 years relationship without much fights or break ups and reunite situations is quite admirable. For my case, I consider myself "a kid" since I am still in school, not working nor have working experience without income, don't know the world so I consider marriage and having kids is too "adult" to do. I'll probably get married one day but not so soon. Having kids will be wayyyy later in life or may not happen at all because both of us can't really stand kids hahaha. So, I don't really think much about marriage or kids these days but since I hear some people talking about it so that's my answer for now. 

Right now, I just want to focus on passing my GCBA and get the cert, decide on whether I want to proceed to MBA or go job hunting. That's my main topic that I'm concerned so far. 

These are the thoughts that I have during these weeks. Some very deep topics but I can guarantee that some answers will not be changed so fast. That's it for now. I'll talk to you in my next blogpost. Let me know what are the main thing that is on your mind right now in the comments.
Have fun and I love ya'll. 

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