A Letter to all the boys I've loved before


While I was browsing through YouTube, I saw a video by Alexa Losey and it sparked my idea on writing this blogpost. I wasn't dating anyone before the current one (kinda like my first dating experience) and I'm intending to write the letters to all of my crushes since state school. If you went to the same school as me, you might know who I was talking about but I hope you keep them anonymous. So, here it is, my letter to all the boys I've loved before..
Dear the first,
I still am not sure whether the feeling that I felt was love but I'm going to send a letter to you anyways. You were very playful, funny yet excellent in studies and the duties that you had to follow. Here I was, standing beside you, didn't know what to do, struggling between social life, studies and the situation I had at home. It was really amazing to stand by your side and learn and play. I still remember we sang together, we played football together and even the times we got scolded together. You were my first hero that I look up to and my first person that I wanted to catch upon to. It was fun times and I really enjoyed spending a lot of time together. So, thank you for giving me dreams and taught me that life is better when someone you love is smiling and thank you for making me smile.
Dear the second,
I was in 5th grade when I first saw you. You were pretty famous since the day that I met you. You looked nice, famous due to your family and the fact that you were pretty rich. I didn't fell in love because of those statuses that you had. I fell in love because you were so nice to me when we were learning at the maths tuition. We both were pretty naughty to be exact since there were times we didn't finish the homework that the teacher gave and got scolded pretty harshly. You were funny yet quiet. But I knew for a fact that you were really nice to me. Ever since then, I was secretly watching you from afar till 9th grade. I loved you for 5 years without you knowing. I was really thrilled when I got your contact and we started sending messages. I got to know that you became a playboy for the 4 years that I was in love with you and it made me really sad. But you were still nice to me as ever. You became a cheerful guy and sometimes you even cheer me up. I was really happy. That's why, now is the time to thank you for all the things that you have done for me that I didn't had a chance to say. Thank you for cheering me up, thank you for making me realize what love is and thank you for letting me copy your homework during 5th grade (Ha-Ha.)
Dear the third,
I still had the messages that we send to each other for no reason. I was archiving my messages and that's when I saw our messages. It made me realize that even though I sure were in love with you but I was cold when talking to you for some reason. When I saw you during the summer of my 16th birthday, you were an assistant trainee at my English summer course. Well, I know it was quite bad to fall for a assistant teacher from another class, our age was much closer than we thought. It was really nice to send messages to you. You taught me how to find my passion for the future, guided me and telling me that the road I chose were too tiring for myself which I immediately realized when I studied abroad. I still hear your words telling me not to choose IT major as my university since it would be very difficult for me in the long run. Ko, I just wanted to tell you that I've finished my studies and have graduated a week ago. I didn't regret taking the IT major that I finished studying but I finally respect your advice that it would be too much for me as a career. You saw through me even before I started taking the course. But, I still want to thank you for giving me so many advises, treating me like an actual sister and being so kind to me even though I sounded so cold to you. I am so sorry for acting like a complete idiot and act mature in front of you and not as respectful as I should have to you. Still thank you for all the love and support that you have given me to continue my path. I really hope you are having excellent moments with your current girlfriend and I wish you to be happy in life. 
Dear my current one,
How is your cough today? Is it still in pain for you? How is work? Sometimes, I wish I could help you in various situations like you always do for me. I still cannot believe we have been dating for more than three years already. I'm writing this letter for you even though I saw you like a few hours ago for dinner. Ahh, dinner was not satisfying as the beansprouts were not cooked properly. I think the portion is not enough for you? Your parents always keep telling you to lose some weight aren't they? Let's shed some pounds okay? (lol) You always love food and you always say that you love to feed me. I don't know what our future is like but I really love the time that I spend with you. I am grateful for all the things you have done for me, all the help you gave me. December 2016, I'm writing this letter/blogpost, I'm very excited to start school and finish school next year again and start working so that we will have income to do some travelling together whenever we are both free. I'm excited to see what work life will bring us, maybe another country? who knows. I can't really tell what our future will be. I'm just going to give my best to do anything I can as long as I'm breathing, walking and talking (ANNNDDD eating of course.)

love, 
Reyar 
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