Joyful thoughts at midnight


I feel extremely blessed. For this whole year, I felt a lot of new feelings that I've never gained for the past 22 years of my life. I would have never realised this if I were like my younger self. So, in this post, I want to say some cheesy words to people that may or may not read my words. But it's okay! I'm writing because I want to cherish what I felt at this moment while I'm thinking of how blessed I am for this past year.

Fast backwards for a year, November 2016, I was at Myanmar trying to decide what I should do with my life. I have already graduated but I still haven't found any job. Something in my gut told me from my experience from being a secretary for the Business Club which I was in the past year that I should continue studying and attend MBA. I told my mum how I was feeling about this whole situation and as how amazing my mother can be, she agreed me to continue studying for one more year and get my Masters.
So, here I was, facing my whole new environment of the unknown people. Since I knew how painful I were to not have any close friends during my bachelors so I decided to try a new approach. That approach gave me respect from people and I get to become friends with them. But I was never a close friend.

First trimester was okay. I tried my best. Gave all my shot. Made a lot of mistakes. Felt a lot of anxiety and depression. Was sick a lot of the time. But it was okay. Still feeling that I was just a transparent person. People come and go. I never felt that I belong with somebody.

Second trimester, well it was messy. All the people from the first trimester branched out with other people. Some already found whom they clicked with and with whom they belonged. Still making terrible mistakes though, for me. But getting a bit better about myself. Trying to find some place to drop my anchor. Made some friends along the way and they seems pretty fun to be with. I worked my butt off to gain respect from people. I learned the hard way that respects must be earned by working my butt off. So, I did. Still very insecure about myself and still doesn't realise that I'm blessed though.

Third and last trimester, happiest and craziest times. People whom I handpicked to work with me were very nice to me and without them, I couldn't do what I did for this year. We played, we worked, we laughed and we studied and they were very helpful to me. They put up with all my complaints, all my crazy requests, sometimes I couldn't lead them anymore so they stepped up and lead the team to put ourselves together. I'm blessed to have them. They knew when I break down, and they bring me back to life. Being with them is fun, lots of laughter, very serious from time to time and I was really blessed with them. I am a weak human. I tend to break down sometimes and I tend to be all serious most of the time, didn't know how to make jokes to make them laugh and didn't know how to listen properly. I know that some of them might have complaints about me but I'm still very much in love with them. They are the ones that I enjoyed being with and most importantly, they make me enjoy my life to the best while I still can.

So, thank you for putting up with me, encourage me when I needed, praised me when I did a good job, said "you did well" when I started thinking that I didn't do good enough. Put up with my ups and downs and still say "I want to group with you". Thank you for trusting me and believing in me so, I thank you to my teammates that I really loved spending my trimester with. I'm glad that I teamed up with them.

1 comment

  1. I'm so happy for you, that you were able to find the friends you have the happiest and craziest times with :') those are really rare.

    yuki, solivagantic

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